Have a problem with a mouse in your house?

If you've ever had trouble with mice, this blog post is for you! This evening, Amy and I had to deal with a little mouse (and I mean little!) in our apartment. From our observations and lessons learned, I present to you Sara (and Amy)'s simple seven step how-to for removing pesky rodents from your domicile (including an ACTUAL EXAMPLE!)

Step 1 - Have a trusty feline present to take care of the little one.

Romeo first noticed that a mouse had come in and was climbing up our screen window. Amy then noticed that Romeo was on our kitchen counter staring intently upon the window above. Before shooing him off, she realized that the tiny mouse had reached our valence. EEEEK! Well, Romeo has always been fond of chasing cockroaches, lizards, my cat Princess, people, etc... surely he would literally jump at the opportunity, right? It turns out that our would-be mouser stared at the mouse for a good five minutes until he realized he couldn't reach it, then turned around and ignored it's presence. Hmph. Some use he was...

Step 2 - Discuss how to best capture your "friend."

Once the mouse moves to higher ground, you might consider putting your cat on the shelf the mouse has reached. I would not recommend this. Amy tried this, and the cat was terrified to be so high off the ground and immediately made his way to the floor. Instead, you and your companion should discuss in what way you would like to remove your "friend" and whether you would like him to survive the process. When you have decided this, proceed to step 3.

Step 3 - Buy/Purchase/Make a container to house your intruder.

We decided to catch our visitor and free him a distance from our house. We didn't have the ability to go and buy a live trap, and we didn't really want to wait for it to just waltz into our trap, so Amy put something together. We had a box from microwave popcorn and some neat flexible cutting boards, so Amy cut off the tabs of the box and we were "ready". The mouse was cornered behind our styrofoam cooler, so Amy positioned the box on one end and prepared the cutting board for closing the box once the mouse entered. My job was to "encourage" it to enter the box. I had a cutting board as well, and I was using the end of a serving spoon to "encourage." Well, to make a ridiculously embarrassing story short, the mouse ran away from the box and towards me, then I flipped out and it "jumped" down to the floor and behind our dishes cabinet. Yikes...

Step 4 - Calm your ridiculous older sister and form a new plan. 

This step is short. All you must do is formulate a plan and your ridiculous sister (who is an acknowledged pansy) will listen to your wisdom and force herself to participate. After all, she doesn't want to go to sleep until the mouse (which probably weighs less than her little finger) is OUT of your apartment. Grab a couple flashlights, because it is dark behind cabinets. The mouse will then proceed to climb UP the back of the shelf and stand on the edge, then hop down to the cabinet top. Don't worry, this is a "good" thing. Once it positions itself behind your microwave, switch roles with your companion. You take the box and two cutting boards (one to close behind the mouse, the other to make certain that it does not run out and jump on you) and get ready on one end of the microwave, while your sister watches the mouse and uses the end of a serving spoon to scare the critter into the box. Amazingly, this plan can work! After some jumping and squealing (?), you can close the box with the mouse inside (you are left to determine who did the jumping and squealing). Once you are sure the mouse is secure, prepare for step 5.

Step 5 - Conduct the mouse to its new home.

We recommend you choose a location FAR AWAY from your house. What good is it to catch the mouse and let it go right outside your house? It may come back! We walked all the way down the road. I held the light while Amy held the mouse in it's box (Yes, we had traded; she is much braver than I am). Once you arrive at your destination (we chose the entry of our road by a drainage canal), free your prisoner!

Step 6 - Look frantically around and at the box and realize that you DID NOT CATCH THE MOUSE!!!

This is followed by the sub-step "return to your house and find that the mouse is still under the microwave where you left it." You may facepalm if you like.

The rest is easy. Follow your earlier plan. Inwardly laugh as your older sister flips out while the mouse, instead of scooting submissively into the box, shoots off the counter and heads for the back door. After containing your mirth and calming your sister (again!), ascertain where exactly the mouse is now. If your mouse did as ours did, you will find it in the corner of your back door. Specifically in our case, the mouse was wedged in the gap between our door and the edge of our floor. As I hesitantly peered down, I saw its little tail and two back feet suspended in the air. It was stuck. You may laugh at the mouse, just be sure that you don't startle the mouse. Now slowly open the door, just enough to free it, and then shut it back once the mouse has escaped. After this you are done!

Step 7 - Crazy-clean every utensil you used, throw away any disposable item used, and laugh at your lack of courage. 

This is self-explanatory. One very important thing you must remember to do is seal off the hole through which the mouse exited (and probably entered). Use as much duct tape as you feel is necessary. The same goes for the amount of soap you use when you wash the dishes.

So there you have it. Seven simple steps. I hope this has helped you, and perhaps made you laugh :). God bless you!